24 August 2024
FROM PROCRASTINATION TO ACTION
Have you ever found yourself stuck in procrastination, unable to propel yourself forward? Perhaps you have plans or dreams but can't muster the courage to step out of your comfort zone. I have and I know that many people do from time to time.
Getting started is about beginning something new or perhaps returning to something that has already been started. For many of us, beginnings can be anxiety-inducing, scary, and even terrifying, because they involve change and the transition that comes with it.
However, beginnings can also be exciting and full of anticipation. They mark the end of other things and may evoke a bittersweet sadness. So, there can be a mix of many different feelings.
If you are struggling with procrastination and finding it difficult to get started, here are some steps you can take.
Step One - Accept the ‘Is’
I see this step as the foundation. Before you start anything, check in with yourself and see where you are. What are your beliefs and feelings related to this beginning? Let them arise. If there is self-doubt, fear, or anxiety, acknowledge and accept them as they surface. Perhaps write in a journal or talk them through with a trusted friend. This stage is all about asking the ‘What’ questions, being curious and accepting. What am I feeling? What is this about? What is going on for me right now?
Step Two - Inquire with Compassion
While the first step is about asking ‘what’ questions, this step is about the ‘why’ or ‘how come’ questions, which will deepen your self-awareness. This step is all about understanding what is driving your procrastination.
In Transactional Analysis, drivers have a specific meaning. Drivers are internalised messages or coping ways with the world which are often rooted in childhood. They are conditional messages which we lean into especially in stressful situations. Our drivers can be helpful in many situations (that’s one of the reasons we have them, right?!) The caveat is that our sense of 'OKness' depends on how much we fulfil them. That’s when they can be a problem.
From a Transactional Analysis point of view, there are five drivers*: Be Perfect, Please Others, Try Hard, Be Strong and Hurry Up, although these are not specifically linked to procrastination. Here, I will use this model to unpack the motivation behind our procrastination. It may sound like a strange thing to say when we feel completely unmotivated; hence procrastination! Here are some thoughts:
When we have a Be Perfect driver, we strive for perfection and desperately want to get things right, we might do a lot of preparation and planning and might get lost in details and avoid mistakes at all costs. How does this link the procrastination? Unsurprisingly, aiming for perfection leads to unrealistically high standards. The fear of not meeting these standards can lead to procrastination to avoid the possibility of failure.
With a Be Strong driver, we suppress our emotions, needs and wants, and appear competent and strong. This can result in avoiding tasks that might expose our limitations or our need to seek help. So we might procrastinate to maintain the appearance of strength and competency.
When we have a Please Others driver, we seek approval and are afraid of disappointing others or not being liked. When we focus on fulfilling the needs and expectations of those around us, we neglect our needs and therefore procrastinate meeting them. Perhaps there is an underlying belief that we are not important enough. Do you feel that what you are about to start is not important enough?
When we Try Hard, we may have several projects on the go at the same time. We do things exerting maximum effort, often stretch ourselves too thin and risk burnout. Because we believe that everything needs sheer effort, we may procrastinate due to being overwhelmed. Do you believe that everything needs to be a struggle?
When we have a Hurry Up driver, we feel pressured to complete tasks quickly. We may leave things to the last minute and rush through them or rush into things without properly resourcing ourselves. If we are used to the cycle of procrastinating and last-minute stress, we might unconsciously postpone to create a sense of urgency. Can you relate?
Step Three - Allow Yourself
If you worked out what is driving your procrastination (it may be a combination of the above), this step is about giving yourself permission to counteract the drivers you identified. For example:
If you are worried about failing, can you allow yourself to be good enough?
If you feel the task is too big, can you allow yourself to ask for help or to express how you feel and accept support?
If your procrastination is about putting your needs last, can you allow yourself to prioritise your needs? What might that look like?
If you are feeling overwhelmed, can you allow yourself to take one step, and then the next one until it is complete?
If you are putting pressure on yourself that you need to be so quick and efficient, can you take your time after getting started?
Step Four - Take Action
This step is about resourcing yourself and taking action.
When we don't take action, we adopt a passive stance on problem-solving and might discount our abilities, choices, outcomes, and the significance of our actions. Starting, no matter how small is concrete proof that we are moving forward.
Taking action might also mean eliminating distractions or seeking support.
What does taking action look like for you?
Resources:
Miniscript (Kahler and Capers, 1974)
TA Today (Ian Stewart and Vann Joiness, 2000)
Image Credit: Pexels - Sebastian, Pexels - Kelly ,Pexels - Pripicart